First of the Lasts and the First of the Firsts

this week will likely be like taking a ride on the Beast at Kings Island. there is the exhilaration and nervousness that comes with standing in line, then the pure adrenaline rush of going down that first hill. then, somewhere about 2/3 of the way through, when your brain begins to rattle against your skull, you wish you could get off. lastly, when the ride is over, you aren't sure whether to puke, cheer, cry or jump off and ride again.

since ive been a bad blogger and have left you disconnected from my life for many maddening months, perhaps i should catch you up to speed. well, last i talked to you, i was waiting to find out about where i would be going to get my phd next year. what seemed like waiting for eternity finally provided me with some choices. in the interest of time, (and im not fooling myself, i know you dont want every last detail of the last few months of my life), i will provide the short version of the story:

i'm moving to new york city.

in like three weeks.

(let me pause to hyperventilate, cry, and jump for joy).

okay im back.

it has been my dream as long as i can recall to end up in new york city. after multiple tries, it felt like perhaps my dream would always remain just that: a dream. i had interviewed for several jobs. none had ever worked out. i thought, perhaps, i was pushing something that wasn't meant to be. in fact, to be honest, when i applied to columbia, i didn't think there was a bats chance in hell (wait, what does that even mean? why do bats not have a good chance of surviving hell? can someone out there answer this???) of getting in. let's face it: its one of the top educational institutions in the country, and by all means, im a sort of average student. my grades were good, my gre score was better than average but not like, perfect. the only thing i really have going for me, is i can WRITE. and, other than scores on the paper, the only other thing they see of you is your written statement. i knew i could do that well.

so, when i opened up the email that told me a decision had been made on my application, i nearly cringed thinking that there would be yet another missed opportunity for new york, and honestly, i wasn't sure i had it in me again to be rejected again. to come short of my dream again. i hesitated to click the link, but figured i might as well suck it up. i had been accepted to other schools, so it was going to be fine, but i REALLY wanted columbia. when i clicked the link and saw the acceptance letter, i read it FOUR times to be sure i had read it correctly. had i actually been accepted in columbia? ivy league school in new york city? could it be?

my excitement was short lived when i went to the financial section and started to figure out how much i was going to have to go into debt for a columbia degree. nearly $70,000 a year. times FIVE YEARS. was it worth it? would i ever pay it off? and i began to pray to the financial aid gods for mercy. and i devised a plan.

to shorten this story up, all the stars, planets, prayers, satellites or WHATEVER aligned and i found myself not only accepted to columbia but also employed, full-time, at an excellent private school on the upper east side. and just like that, dreams of new york were no longer dreams, they were, in fact, reality.

so, this week, i begin the end, and i begin the beginning of the next chapter of my book. i have sold my car, and on wednesday, she will belong to someone else. she has been a good car to me and has gone with me to florida, back to kentucky, on a road trip to pennsylvania and back home again. she has taken me from a "kid" fresh out of college, to a woman seeing her dreams unfold before her. now she will go to a new home, and while i shouldn't be attached to a piece of plastic, ill be sad to let it go. its the first thing ill have to let go of in order to grab on to other things.

also this week, ill say goodbye to my job. this has been the greatest job ive had to date with some of the greatest people i know. i have had many, many laughs. i have bitched many MANY times. i have sometimes wished this day would come sooner. but the truth is, it was there when i needed it. the people became my family. and i will miss them terribly. it will be strange to start again without these people. they have come to be such a part of me. but i know i must move on. it is time. there is a wonderful new replacement for me. i have so much to look forward to. i will always be thankful for these years of my life and the person, educator and friend they allowed me to become.

and lastly, it will be the first of the firsts. by the end of this week, ill have my first new york apartment. i have looked at countless listings. i have studied millions of tiny pictures. i have called/texted/emailed my broker so much he probably can't WAIT for me to find a place so i can leave him alone. but its scary. and exhilarating. all at once. as i look around my house, i think to myself, "you're gonna miss this." and i will.

it has been a wild and wonderful five years back in lexington, but it is time. turns out, dreams can be scary when they come true, but, there is no turning back for me now. reality is knocking at my doorstep, and telling me its time to go.

its my turn to get on the beast. i have a front row seat. my safety bar is latched securely in place and all my body parts are inside the vehicle.

i invite you to come along on this ride with me. of firsts, of lasts. i used to be a former blonde gone brunette, but i think, perhaps that chapter has ended. from now on, you'll be following the comedic-drama of:

kygirlgonenyc.