Today, when I asked my students the day, they said, May4th. I almost stopped breathing out of pure terror. MAY? First of all, last time I blinked it was September, and I had an entire year to accomplish all the things I needed to do. How is it that in that minuscule blink that I took, time somehow disintegrated and now it is MAY?
Don't get me wrong. I love May. It's not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, not too rainy. The flowers are in full bloom, yadda yadda yadda. School ends...its summer vacation...time to get caught up on some sleep!
However, there is also the perpetual lawn mowing. By the time you have finished, the back grass needs to be cut again. And then, there is all this SNEEZING and eyes itching. It's incessant. And then, ladies and gentlemen, there is the small matter of my birthday. Typically I love my birthday. I usually hang and do fun stuff with friends...enjoy and celebrate. But this year I turn....THIRTY.
I'm not saying I'm over the hill, so save your rants. What I'm saying is..is this what 30 looks like? I mean, by 30, I thought I would be a lot of things I'm not. Like...married...a mother...a rich millionaire. Okay, not really that last one, but it doesn't hurt to dream does it?? I think of what I used to think a 30 year old was. SOOO old. Graying hair. Basically, I used to think a 30 year old had taken close to their last breath and would keel over pretty soon. I'm none of the things I thought I would be, except, well, employed. Thank goodness, because in times such as these, that is nothing to take lightly. I thought I would live in NYC. It's where I really want to live, and a far cry from Lexington, KY. I am not, however, married (for no lack of trying), and on account of that one, I don't have any children, which is probably a good thing. I feel like, by the world's standards, I'm pretty far behind...
But, there are the things I am: I am a teacher, which is a job I absolutely love without a shadow of a doubt and I know I'm good at. I know there are all sorts of people at all sorts of ages that work in jobs they HATE for their entire lives. This, I can say, is not me. I am a homeowner of a house I'm REALLY proud of. I have, for the last 2.5 years remodeled this home into something I'm really proud of. I think I have an incredible decorating vision, and I love doing it. If I could only find that millionaire, I could do SO much more...but until then, I am content that my house is a warm and welcoming place. I am a mini-marathoner (boy, I JUST squeaked that one in under the deadline). This is something very few people do in their lives. In fact, besides the people from the gym, who are crazy in shape overachievers (no offense intended), I am the only person I know who ran a mini-marathon. Oh, well, Cathy Weaver did, but we ran the same race! This is something I'm proud of...in fact, I think I might call myself a "runner", because I have completed 7 races since July 2008. I think that is pretty dang great...especially considering a year ago, I couldn't run 13 feet, nonetheless, 13 MILES. And then I consider that I have found wonderful friends in my life. Some have come and gone, but the people I choose to surround myself with daily are incredible people, with incredible hearts, and amazing spirits. I know there are many people that do not have relationships like this in their lives, and so, I am grateful. I own two dogs I haven't killed, I have had an Orchid since February that continues to bloom, I got over my fear of dirt and worms to plant some flowers this spring. I am a great cook, and an even better baker. I can sell a wedding/prom dress with panache. I'm healthier than I have been in a LONG time. I have an incredible family. I have a wonderful God. And, most days, I am incredibly happy.
For whatever I thought my "30" would look like, I suppose this is how it was always meant to be. For whatever reason, I have the things I do have, and the others are not meant for me quite yet. However, when I look at the things I have, I think to myself, how incredibly blessed I would be to have even ONE of those things, nonetheless ALL of them. And I think, especially with times being as tough as they are, how quickly my situations could change. I think sometimes, I get so caught up in things that are, really, of no real importance. I DO want to get married, but I have lots of single friends who are 30. I do want children, but I hate changing diapers. But even besides all these things, why can we not learn to be content wherever we find ourselves. There is a book called, "Wherever you go, there you are!" How ridiculously simple this is, but how interesting that so few really get it. We are here, exactly where we are, for a reason. There are people here, there are situations here, there are lessons here that we need to embrace, that we need to learn. I look around more closely and wonder what is, exactly my lesson for this day? This week? This year? For year 29, my lesson was, "You are stronger than you ever imagined." It was a critical lesson, possibly the most important lesson I have ever learned.
So, I wait for you 30. I ask you what you have for me. I ask you what it is I will learn, how it is my life will change in the next 365 days. I ask for you to give me all it is you have in store for me. Don't hold back. And in return, I promise to be content, knowing I am EXACTLY where I was meant to be.
I guess May isn't so bad after all.
aformerblonde.
Don't get me wrong. I love May. It's not too hot, not too cold, not too sunny, not too rainy. The flowers are in full bloom, yadda yadda yadda. School ends...its summer vacation...time to get caught up on some sleep!
However, there is also the perpetual lawn mowing. By the time you have finished, the back grass needs to be cut again. And then, there is all this SNEEZING and eyes itching. It's incessant. And then, ladies and gentlemen, there is the small matter of my birthday. Typically I love my birthday. I usually hang and do fun stuff with friends...enjoy and celebrate. But this year I turn....THIRTY.
I'm not saying I'm over the hill, so save your rants. What I'm saying is..is this what 30 looks like? I mean, by 30, I thought I would be a lot of things I'm not. Like...married...a mother...a rich millionaire. Okay, not really that last one, but it doesn't hurt to dream does it?? I think of what I used to think a 30 year old was. SOOO old. Graying hair. Basically, I used to think a 30 year old had taken close to their last breath and would keel over pretty soon. I'm none of the things I thought I would be, except, well, employed. Thank goodness, because in times such as these, that is nothing to take lightly. I thought I would live in NYC. It's where I really want to live, and a far cry from Lexington, KY. I am not, however, married (for no lack of trying), and on account of that one, I don't have any children, which is probably a good thing. I feel like, by the world's standards, I'm pretty far behind...
But, there are the things I am: I am a teacher, which is a job I absolutely love without a shadow of a doubt and I know I'm good at. I know there are all sorts of people at all sorts of ages that work in jobs they HATE for their entire lives. This, I can say, is not me. I am a homeowner of a house I'm REALLY proud of. I have, for the last 2.5 years remodeled this home into something I'm really proud of. I think I have an incredible decorating vision, and I love doing it. If I could only find that millionaire, I could do SO much more...but until then, I am content that my house is a warm and welcoming place. I am a mini-marathoner (boy, I JUST squeaked that one in under the deadline). This is something very few people do in their lives. In fact, besides the people from the gym, who are crazy in shape overachievers (no offense intended), I am the only person I know who ran a mini-marathon. Oh, well, Cathy Weaver did, but we ran the same race! This is something I'm proud of...in fact, I think I might call myself a "runner", because I have completed 7 races since July 2008. I think that is pretty dang great...especially considering a year ago, I couldn't run 13 feet, nonetheless, 13 MILES. And then I consider that I have found wonderful friends in my life. Some have come and gone, but the people I choose to surround myself with daily are incredible people, with incredible hearts, and amazing spirits. I know there are many people that do not have relationships like this in their lives, and so, I am grateful. I own two dogs I haven't killed, I have had an Orchid since February that continues to bloom, I got over my fear of dirt and worms to plant some flowers this spring. I am a great cook, and an even better baker. I can sell a wedding/prom dress with panache. I'm healthier than I have been in a LONG time. I have an incredible family. I have a wonderful God. And, most days, I am incredibly happy.
For whatever I thought my "30" would look like, I suppose this is how it was always meant to be. For whatever reason, I have the things I do have, and the others are not meant for me quite yet. However, when I look at the things I have, I think to myself, how incredibly blessed I would be to have even ONE of those things, nonetheless ALL of them. And I think, especially with times being as tough as they are, how quickly my situations could change. I think sometimes, I get so caught up in things that are, really, of no real importance. I DO want to get married, but I have lots of single friends who are 30. I do want children, but I hate changing diapers. But even besides all these things, why can we not learn to be content wherever we find ourselves. There is a book called, "Wherever you go, there you are!" How ridiculously simple this is, but how interesting that so few really get it. We are here, exactly where we are, for a reason. There are people here, there are situations here, there are lessons here that we need to embrace, that we need to learn. I look around more closely and wonder what is, exactly my lesson for this day? This week? This year? For year 29, my lesson was, "You are stronger than you ever imagined." It was a critical lesson, possibly the most important lesson I have ever learned.
So, I wait for you 30. I ask you what you have for me. I ask you what it is I will learn, how it is my life will change in the next 365 days. I ask for you to give me all it is you have in store for me. Don't hold back. And in return, I promise to be content, knowing I am EXACTLY where I was meant to be.
I guess May isn't so bad after all.
aformerblonde.
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