I want me some pajama jeans!

so, typically my blogs are pretty serious, but here is the deal: i have had a raging headache for 4.5 weeks and I couldn't make myself conjure up a serious thought if i tried, so i am taking a friend's advice and talking about some awesome AS SEEN ON TV items.

1. Pajama Jeans

does anyone else find these strangely attractive. first off, i really love jeans. but the idea of pajama jeans...these jeans in comfy sweat pant form draw me in. i have actually gone to the Pajama Jeans website and watched the infomercial a couple of times. though i decidedly want a pair of these, i do have the following questions/concerns:

a. why is it that "pajama jeans" seem to fit unnaturally tight for pj pants?

b. why does everyone tuck their shirt into the pajama jeans...? is there an extra itchy tag there?

c. since when did we start putting a "mock fly" on "expensive designer jeans"? ive seen some true religion jeans, and never in my life have i seen a "mock fly" on a pair. and if that isnt't enough, there is front and back contrast stitching and a smooth butt lifting design!!

d. why is that size 4 model having to lay down to get in her jeans? i mean, seriously, buy a size 6. it is going to be okay. if i can get my body in some jeans while standing upright, so can you.

e. why do we only stare at the ladies butts? i think there is something sketchy about the front that they dont want us to see. everything is the woman kneeling to get her baby, the woman pushing the shopping cart. butts butts butts. the front of these things must be very shady.

f. why is one pair $39.95 plus $8.00 shipping. Listen...on ebay, nearly everything is free shipping. there is no way in hell that those jeans weigh $8.00 worth of shipping. and $40? for pj pants? you can't be serious. that is more expensive than nearly all the jeans i own. if a pair of pajama jeans cost me $50 when all is said and done, they better be hand sewn out of silk and be bejeweled with swarovski crystals.

g. oh, wait, i just remembered, that for the highly economical price of $50, they also throw in a FREE GRAY CREWNECK TEE! well hot damn. that makes it all better. turns out those two items actually retail for $100!!! where the hell are these people shopping that pj pants and a gray shirt cost $100 bucks. saks? bloomingdales? oh, wait, you said that shirt was made in bangladesh by a 4 year old? oooh...no wonder it is so expensive! its EXOTIC!!!

h. does anyone really need 60 days to figure out whether their pajama jeans are gonna work out for them? alas, no need to worry, if they don't, you get to keep your SUPER AWESOME GRAY TEE FOR FREE! JUST FOR TRYING! wow, how awesome is that?

im going to ponder these questions, and wait for your feedback. in the meantime, check out the infomercial. then you decided. pajama jeans or pajama junk?

2. The Shake Weight

i first saw this infomercial while eating at a delicious lexington dive. i nearly spit my food out. first the shake weight at best is...lets just say, phallic. second, i have a really good feeling that while i was shaking said shake weight, i would probably hit myself in the face, thereby breaking my jaw, needing to have my mouth wired shut and would lose so much weight i wouldn't need the shake weight anyhow. that or i would poke my eye out and not be able to see what my arms look like. and, why do they need to tell me it doesn't need batteries. thats just creepy. and i can guarantee its not "just that simple" otherwise, people would be walking down the street with shake weights. here are some questions i have:

a. what is this "prestigious california university" whose name you will not mention? thats sort of shady. thats like me saying: "my super famous friend said..." and not telling you who. is it california northwestern southeastern polytechnical community college online? they have quite the reputation so i hear...

b. does the shake weight always make that terrible grinding/rubbing against metal sound? cause if i have to listen to that for 6 minutes, ill purposely hit myself with it.

c. if the girl can "feel the definition already" after using the shake weight for 30 seconds...why in the world would i buy one? why not just give it a test or two, and then ill have perfect arms. i had no idea you could shake a weight for 30 seconds and immediately feel definition. wow. thats freaking amazing.

d. why do the people who are "professional" users have veins sticking out of their arms? also, i can't believe that the shake weight also gives you a six pack and perfect legs. wow. i think they are doping. thats just me. doping for the shake weight commercial. new all time career low.

e. "dynamic inertia"...is that what they are calling it these days?

lets see what ellen thinks:

if anyone has one, tell me what you think, and then give it to me so i can make fun of it.

the moral of the lesson today: as seen on tv is the greatest rip off and the greatest form of entertainment out there today.

off to watch more infomercials.

aformerblonde.