The last night of the last day of the last week of the last month in Kentucky

its really here.

my last night in Kentucky before my move to NYC. Tomorrow night I'll actually be homeless as I crash in Bethlehem, PA for the night before heading the rest of the way to NYC on Friday morning. i can't believe it has finally arrived.

this week has been a fun/busy week. it started with lunch with an old college professor and her daughters, who i babysit from time to time. it was actually fitting that i had a chance to sit down with them before i left. dr. hetzel is the reason that i became a teacher to begin with in the first place. she, ever so lovingly stated to me at the end of nearly every class period that perhaps i should be a teacher, which i shrugged off, only to find myself becoming...well...a teacher. there are no mistakes or coincidences within our lives. i have learned, far too many times, that we are where we are for a VERY specific reasons, and sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, or prayers answered somehow other than the way we thought they would be answered. then it was off to dinner dinner with logan and deata...who i have known pretty much my entire life. it was sad to say goodbye to them, but i know for CERTAIN, they will be visiting soon. it was then followed by final trivia (part deux) which did not involve any plastic boots or any "cheaters" but instead found us earning only 18/40 points. on a positive note, thanks to my "coaxing" another person in our party did go home with a door prize. finally, last night, it was dinner with a few friends and my parents at joe b.'s. i will miss the breadsticks most of all :) then, the packing of the trailer...a few tears over things i would have to leave behind, and now, here i sit. everything packed up into a trailer and a car except the clothes i will wear for the next few days and the one dog who will be making the trip to me.

and finally.

i'm actually scared.

i have dreamt of this moment for most of my adult life. i sent out resume after resume. interviewed for job after job and finally...FINALLY...it's here. the next blog i send will be from a kentucky girl in nyc. and im scared it wont be everything i dreamed. or maybe it will be more. or maybe ill have no friends. or maybe ill meet a million awesome friends. or maybe roxie will hate not having a backyard to run in. or maybe ill hate not having a target to go to. or maybe they won't televise the casey anthony trial.

all completely irrational worries i have. and i take a deep breath. and i know, i KNOW, things will work out. god has not only laid this path in front of me, but put 15 spotlights on it, and glitter on the ground and said...hey...if it wasn't obvious, this is the path i want you to take. every last thing has fallen into place, though it seemed it might not, it did. and i know it was the design and the plan all along. and i know that god wouldn't put it out there for me if he didn't intend on seeing me through. but that irrational part of me sinks into my gut and i want to puke. but i wont. because i know loads of people would give their left foot for the opportunities i have been given.

so, i guess...if you are the praying kind...keep me in your prayers. and if you are the karmaic universe kind, ask the universe to send positive karmaic vibes my way. and if you aren't either of these...just think happy thoughts for me.

for those of you who have been part of this last chapter of my life, i thank you from the depths of my soul and the bottom of my heart. i wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for each one of you. i love you dearly and i will take a piece of each of you forward with me to the big apple, and you'll be the first ones i call when i get home at thanksgiving.

but now it is time. this chapter has gone on too long, and i think it is time to turn the page. be watching for a new chapter...coming soon.

the end.

akygirlgonenyc.

For Good...

you never know what you've got until its gone.

how many times i have taken for granted the many blessings in my life. tonight as i looked around the table at the people who surrounded me, it was like the series finale of my favorite tv show. you are so deeply connected to the people at the table and as the sad music plays, you wonder how your life will be the same without them.

and before your eyes flashes a scene from your past with each of them...the trip to KUNA where you couldn't get over your irritable djibouti and couldn't stop laughing; the time you first met when student teaching years ago, never knowing that you would later be colleagues and more importantly friends; the many times you gossiped over queso and made fun of people who had apples on the back of their cars; the time at Starbucks where you felt like FINALLY there was someone who understood you; the new memory of when they stole a plastic boot for you which you had to shove into your jean skirt in order to sneak out; the school picture days where you spent all day blocking the sun for the perfect photo op and then did the entire yearbook by ourselves.

and you realize that these people are rooted into your heart in ways you never truly stopped to think about before. and you know that things will never be "just" like this again. how will i ever replace these people in my life? will i find people in new york that will be as cool...as awesome...as SPECIAL as these wonderful people around this table? and for just a moment, time holds its breath and you are able to fill your lungs with the smells, your eyes with the sights, your ears with the sounds of these people who have made your life the enjoyable journey it has been.

and just as you take it in, times unfreezes and the music reaches it's crescendo...you hug and say your goodbyes. you have your one last moment. not for ever...but for right now. and you watch them walk away. taking your secrets, your laughter, your tears, your happiness of the last 5 years. and you know your life will never, EVER be the same because of these people. you realize that who you were before you met them is not at all the person you are now as you have taken all the best of them, and they have brought out all the best of you and you are a new person.

i am a lucky lucky girl. and that makes me a very, very sad girl tonight. goodbyes are my least favorite thing. especially when they are to people you wish you could roll up and put in your uhaul trailer and take with you.

thank you...each of you...for loving me, laughing with me and letting me be me. i am who i am today because i knew you...you have changed me...for the better, and i will miss you beyond words.

and the music fades, and the screen goes to black.

and thus begins the search for a new show...with new stories to follow...but this one...you'll never forget it...

akygirlgonenyc.

For Good from Wicked:

ill need 10 letters of recommendations and $10,000

i spent the last 5 days apartment hunting.

this shouldn't cause much distress, however, if you are apartment hunting in nyc, that phrase should be enough to cause nightmares and night sweats.

in five days i saw about 15 apartments and three, thats right THREE seemed somewhat suitable for living in. after traipsing uptown, downtown and midtown.

i don't have time or battery (left in my BRAND SPANKING NEW MACBOOK PRO) to tell you all of the horror stories, plus i have to save something for later, but i will share one apartment for your laughing pleasure:

i was taken to a nice apartment near Sutton area. it was in an excellent doorman building, and the lobby was promising. when the listing broker came down, she informed us that if i wanted the apartment unfurnished, the rent would be $2,650, but furnished, it was $2,375. i dont even understand that, and have no idea where to even start, so lets just move on. perhaps it is nice furniture and a really nice apartment. the current tenants were still in the apartment, and were actually there when i visited. first, the broker knocked on the door and no one answered. so, she let herself in, to find that one of the residents was dressed in an outfit that made her appear to be completely nude. i closed my eyes quickly and then realized it was some sort of flesh colored romper that she was wearing. we stepped into the apartment and i was overcome with two thoughts:

holy crap thats a lot of stuff.

holy crap thats a lot of mirrors.

you see, these people were like borderline hoarders. there was so much stuff...everywhere...that you couldn't even see the furniture that was being left. was it a couch and a chair? two couches? a couch and two chairs? i am so confused. all i can see is crap.

and woah, wait one second. no one told me we were going to coney island. is this the fun house? i am not even exaggerating a tiny bit when i tell you that EVERY SINGLE piece of wall real estate was covered with mirrors. truly. mirrors everywhere. i kept thinking that someone was following to closely, only to find that it was just my reflection. wait, which one of you is my real mom. not only would this apartment leave me feeling completely self conscious, i started to understand why those people had so much crap. perhaps if they just piled enough stuff on the floors, furniture, etc, they could just block the mirrors. i think it is enough to drive someone crazy. like, you could go all "black swan" if you spent too much time in there. i could barely find the exit, since the door was covered in mirrors. i loved, most of all, that the broker pointed out, "a full length mirror on the door." ya think? get me out of this freak house.

ultimately, i put in two apps for potential apartments. one of them has gone through, but i am mind-boggled by the amount of information and MONEY they need for you to have a place to live. first, there is the application. 15 pages here, 5 pages here, pretty soon, i have created a thesis statement of applications. then, there are the letters of recommendation. let me start by telling you that i got accepted into the Columbia PhD program with fewer letters of recommendation. personal, professional, clergy, doctor, first grade teacher (okay, that was an exaggeration, but it is close to the idea.) next a statement of assets and liabilities. are you kidding? i am a teacher. im lucky to not be homeless. savings? right. im single, i have a 15 year mortgage and gas is $4.00 a gallon. i think not. oh, you say you need about $10,000 in order to make this happen? first and last months rent...okay. a processing fee of $375? for WHAT? courier fee of $35? i'll take it myself. credit checks, security deposit, move in fees, move out fees, pet security and broker fees? sorry if i can't breath, but i just watched my bank account be raped, perhaps murdered and left bloody and empty.

i was listing to my ipad on the flight home and wicked came on, and i started to chuckle at this line:

thats why i couldn't be happier, no, i couldnt be happier, oh it is i admit the tiniest bit unlike i anticipated but i couldn't be happier simply couldn't be happier well, not simply, cause getting your dreams its strange but it seems a little well, complicated. theres a kind of a sort of cost theres a couple of things get lost, there are bridges you cross you didn't know you crossed until you crossed. and if that joy, that thrill doesn't thrill like you think it will, still with this perfect finale the cheers and the ballyhoo who wouldn't be happier so i couldnt be happier because happy is what happens when all your dreams come true. well isn't it? happy is what happens when your dreams come true. thank goodness.

here's the deal. i have(well, will soon have) a great place to live close to work and a semi-easy commute to Columbia. but my goodness, it wasn't nearly what i thought it would be, finding an apartment. i wont be living like the gossip girls, or charlotte from sex in the city, but, i am indeed, "movin' on up...to the east side...to a deluxe apartment in the skyyyy." (okay the 4th floor, but it has a porch, so its sort of like being in the sky, right?

i hope you will all, somehow, forgive me for my contribution to global warming. thank GOODNESS i got a two year lease. now if you will pardon me, i have to go find something to sell to pay all those fees.

akygirlgonenyc.