For Good...

you never know what you've got until its gone.

how many times i have taken for granted the many blessings in my life. tonight as i looked around the table at the people who surrounded me, it was like the series finale of my favorite tv show. you are so deeply connected to the people at the table and as the sad music plays, you wonder how your life will be the same without them.

and before your eyes flashes a scene from your past with each of them...the trip to KUNA where you couldn't get over your irritable djibouti and couldn't stop laughing; the time you first met when student teaching years ago, never knowing that you would later be colleagues and more importantly friends; the many times you gossiped over queso and made fun of people who had apples on the back of their cars; the time at Starbucks where you felt like FINALLY there was someone who understood you; the new memory of when they stole a plastic boot for you which you had to shove into your jean skirt in order to sneak out; the school picture days where you spent all day blocking the sun for the perfect photo op and then did the entire yearbook by ourselves.

and you realize that these people are rooted into your heart in ways you never truly stopped to think about before. and you know that things will never be "just" like this again. how will i ever replace these people in my life? will i find people in new york that will be as cool...as awesome...as SPECIAL as these wonderful people around this table? and for just a moment, time holds its breath and you are able to fill your lungs with the smells, your eyes with the sights, your ears with the sounds of these people who have made your life the enjoyable journey it has been.

and just as you take it in, times unfreezes and the music reaches it's crescendo...you hug and say your goodbyes. you have your one last moment. not for ever...but for right now. and you watch them walk away. taking your secrets, your laughter, your tears, your happiness of the last 5 years. and you know your life will never, EVER be the same because of these people. you realize that who you were before you met them is not at all the person you are now as you have taken all the best of them, and they have brought out all the best of you and you are a new person.

i am a lucky lucky girl. and that makes me a very, very sad girl tonight. goodbyes are my least favorite thing. especially when they are to people you wish you could roll up and put in your uhaul trailer and take with you.

thank you...each of you...for loving me, laughing with me and letting me be me. i am who i am today because i knew you...you have changed me...for the better, and i will miss you beyond words.

and the music fades, and the screen goes to black.

and thus begins the search for a new show...with new stories to follow...but this one...you'll never forget it...

akygirlgonenyc.

For Good from Wicked: