if you dont have what you want, want what you have

what a roller coaster of a week. 

some of you know the whole story, but others of you know what you have followed through facebook messages.

but in a way of making my blogs appeal to all people in general i share this:

if you don't have what you want, want what you have.

last night, while things in one part of my life fell apart, another part came together in a wonderful and real way.

my personal life didn't go the way i wanted, but meanwhile my professional life was reaching the highest point of my young career.

and though i couldn't sleep last night, (clearly I'm an overthinker), and I am exhausted this morning, it is a mixed exhaustion.  my mind and eyes and heart are exhausted from the emotions of the personal, and my legs and sides and arms are exhausted from dancing the night away at my school's holiday party. 

while a text was coming in telling me that promises of more were no more, the people who surrounded me with a physical presence were smiles and laughter and promises of a different kind.

and as i sit here back at work again, surrounded by smiles of students who love me(for reasons i can't even begin to comprehend) and faculty that are talking about our dance party last night and my big win of private yoga lessons i am reminded of something we all need to be reminded of at some point:

if you don't have what you want, want what you have.

i have the most incredible job at the most amazing place surrounded by the most wonderful and supportive faculty, and i get to teach the greatest students every day.  faculty that boogie down at the holiday party.  faculty who you laugh with until you hurt.  faculty that embrace who you are and what you have to offer.  students that shout "we love you ms. b" when they see me in the hallway.  students that scream and ambush the elevator when it opens and they see me.  students who come find me to see if i will go to the roof with them.  i have never been so rewarded in a place i have worked. 

so while one part is empty, the other is overflowing.

i want, celebrate and love what i have. 

and i trust that if this much has aligned, the other part will eventually too.

i think, especially in this holiday season where the focus is on excess and wanting more, it is interesting that his has been my lesson to learn.

colie.