Let's try again

In the past, i have struggled with knowing what exactly what to write about...so my blog has been a mishmash of whatever came to my mind. And while that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it made it difficult to me to be good about writing on a regular basis. A friend of mine, we will call her E, said to me the other day, "have you ever thought about writing a book?" Well, the answer to that is, I have indeed thought about it, although the recent news that both Snookie and the Situation are both published authors makes me thing that being a published author is not what it used to be. However, I DO love to write, and I think that I am somewhat good at it, and do have an uncanny ability to entertain people...so perhaps I need to sit down and start writing. Perhaps in being more disciplined, I will find a passion about what it is I want to write about. However, for my first blog, I am going to write about something that has been on my mind, and is in fact something that I am dedicating to E, since she inspired me to start writing again on this blog.

It is nearly Martin Luther King, Jr. day, and I wonder if he would be happy with the way things are today. It is true that equal rights for people of color have advanced since he left us, but have we truly advanced as a society? Perhaps a handful of people live in conditions that are better than they were back when MLK, Jr. was alive, but this country (I can't even focus on this world in general, because it is much too big) is still filled with hatred, bigotry and unequal rights. Perhaps our attention just shifts around to a different group of people we find it easier to discriminate against. There is political hatred...we hate someone because they are republican or democrat, conservative or liberal. We hate a label before we even know what it is the person believes. We hate people based on religions. We hate people based on who they love (at first I wrote choose, but I truly believe love is not a choice, but an innate desire that we have no control over.)

I live and work in a very conservative environment. I even worry what will be said when some of the people read this blog that I am writing. There will no doubt be fall out. I fear some of the conversations that I will have to have to defend my right to write what I'm writing...No doubt I will be told to head off to confession, to hate the sin but love the sinner, or who knows what. Some might condemn me, but actually, who cares. Someone needs to stand up, and I'm not going to pretend that what I have to say will tear down any walls, but it will be a ripple with a lot of other ripples floating around that will hopefully, one day be noticed.

I know many people who are gay, queer, lesbian, whatever label they choose for themselves. It is quite possible, when I make a list of these people in my life, they are some of the most genuine, honest, real and caring individuals that I know. They tell great jokes. They make me laugh. They love to go out and have a good time. Some are quiet and introspective. Others are loud and extrovert...they are really, really great people and my life has been enriched by them. But I am constantly saddened that they are often treated as second class citizens. Some of these friends of mine don't feel comfortable to be who they are outside of the confines of their close group of friends. How is it I am able to go out and be whoever I want with no judgement, but the same doesn't apply for every single human being?? If it was a discussion in congress right now to allow black people to marry white people, this nation would be outraged. However, there are some that still feel that women should not be able to marry women, and men should not be able to marry men. I don't get it? How is it we have yet to arrive at being compassionate, loving and accepting human beings? At what point does someone finally wake up and realize how crazy it is that in 2011 we are still engaging in this rhetoric??

I recently found out that a very dear friend of mine wishes she was born a different gender. I think for a small moment, she was petrified she told me. In fact, I know she was. I don't blame her, because this world is filled with ignorance and fear which leads to judgement and hate. Because of these things, she will likely NEVER be able to be who she truly feels she is. It makes me so...sad, frustrated, and disappointed. I know that the people she fears rejection from are some of the same people I associate with. (Not all of you...I know some of you who read this are open minded, loving humans, who accept each person for who they are). Am I part of the problem, or the solution?

Why aren't we all free to just be? Why do humans feel the need to control others, to fit them in some imaginary box? Why is it that being different is seen as a threat instead of a thing of beauty? I once had a conversation with someone I know of which the consensus was "if being gay was a choice, why would ANYONE choose that?" Think about it...why would anyone choose something that would cause them to be hated, discriminated against, seen as less than human by some and robbed of rights that are inherent to others? Why can't we just let people be who they are?

I will never understand what it is my friend feels...feeling that you are not in the right skin. I will never know the confusion of not being able to truly be who I am. But what I simply cannot understand is how, nearly 50 years after his famous "I Have a Dream Speech" we still do not embrace the words that he spoke, and the ideals for which he died. Shifting judgment and hatred is not what he had in mind. Fearing and hating differences is not what it means to say that "All Men are created equal." Hiding behind religious convictions that protect us against treating people with dignity and respect just isn't going to do it for me anymore.

I wish all of my friends could sit around one table and find that the differences in us are the things that make this world so truly beautiful. If fear, judgement and hatred could be replaced with openness, acceptance and love, imagine all the ways this world could be better...okay, that sounded a bit utopian, but just think about your world...the people you surround yourself with. Imagine if just for a second, you could remove those things from your circle of friends, the people you know and see every day...how would it change things? Perhaps my friend could be who he is, without fear of judgement or rejection. I wish he could know what it felt like to truly love himself exactly the way he is. I hope that sometime in my lifetime this will be true. That there will be no stigma, no one to run away from, no need to hide your true self.

I know the person that I am writing about is going to read this blog, so I am going to close with the following remarks. I love you for who you are, and I know that many other people on this earth do/will/would/could feel the same. I know this isn't the time for you, but just know that I am hoping that the time will come for you and when it does, I'll be there every step of the way...after all, isn't that what being human is all about?

I hope it won't take us another 50 years to realize that we still have a lot of work to do to truly be, "free at last."

xoxo.

aformerblonde.