ivy league happiness

i have always loved an "a".

i used to love those "s+"'s that we used to get in grade school.

and then i loved the "a's".

i went through a bit of time where i loved the B.E.E.R. a little more than the "a".

thank god that didn't hurt me too much.

but i will tell you something i know now:

an ivy league A feels so much better than any A i got at UK, LCHS or MQHR.  (now thats a lot of letters).

it feels even better when the professor talks about how people are going to be spending their thanksgiving breaks redoing their 15 page papers.

it feels even better after you break into a cold sweat as you watch your holiday weekend flash before your eyes as you sweat over your Macbook Air as you retype the paper you read 15 psychology journals to find unique and meaningful studies for what you wanted to say.

it feels even better when you find out there was only 1 perfect score, and only 2 9/10's.  (this is the point when you start screaming like a little girl in a candy shop inside your head--after all, gloating isn't sexy).

it feels even better when that annoying kid in class (okay, he is probably 30) who asks questions you can't even understand (who am i kidding, i barely understand the words he says) got a re-do and asks YOU to give him feedback.

it feels even better to think about how after the first day of this class, you burst into tears and wanted to drop out.

i felt stupid.
i felt so far behind.
i felt that perhaps they meant to admit someone else, and i accidentally got let in.

but now.
now i feel like a million bucks.

i put the paper on my OWN refrigerator.
because i earned that on my own.
from my fancy, dancy ivy league phd program.
because i didn't quit though i wanted to.
though i had to read more journals than i have ever read in my life.
and though i thought i might puke as i turned to the back page of that paper.

and saw that i not only earned an A, i earned an A PLUS.  its my first one in my college career, because they don't have them at UK.

my first A+ from arguably one of the best schools in the country.

it feels good to feel smart.
(even though i know you have been telling me that for a long time)
it feels good to believe it.

i have SO much to be thankful for.

happy thanksgiving folks.

colie